As the week comes to a close, two things have defined the start of The Hundred. Two forces of nature we have come to call Mother Nature and Father Wombat.
Bucket Hats and Brollies
To writers of a more high-brow persuasion, the story has been that of the miserable weather. Indeed, the famous August weather that The Hundred has burgled from its hallowed red ball sibling has turned out to be characteristically miserable.
Spare a thought for Manchester Originals Women and London Spirit Women who are yet to actually play a single ball, a sadness somewhat tempered by the joy the former displayed when receiving their bucket hats for the summer.
As a proud Oval Invincibles season ticket holder (Hertfordshire by birth, KP by choice), I have a vested interest in some creative solutions for the weather. Here are but two of my ideas from various rain breaks during The Ashes.
Umbrella Hats: Give every single player a funky umbrella headband to block out the rain.
Pros: A tribute to Stuart Broad (RIP gorgeous). Hides Tom Kohler-Cadmore’s Hague worthy haircut.
Cons: Hides the more dignified haircuts. Not yet available in the official colours of The Hundred
The Straw Method: Give every player a straw that they inhale the rain drops through before they hit the ground
Pros: Removes the need for drinks breaks (fewer delays). Stops Marnus from being heard all the time.
Con: Potential health and safety inspection.
Now I am become Wombat, Destroyer of Sergei
If The Hundred was missing one thing, it was missing a heartbeat. A figure to rally behind. It was missing Carl the Wombat.
The greatest sports entertainer of our generation, Carl is a scene stealer. Whether he’s hitting pull shots in front of the Mound Stand or plotting behind Shaheen in the Welsh Fire dugout, the camera loves him.
A personal favourite of mine is the digital creation of Carl in the crowd at previous years of The Hundred, a trend I hope grows more and more extreme by the day. By the final I’m hoping for grainy footage of Carl at JFK’s assassination, that or a full-length recreation of Ben Stokes’ 2019 Headingley stand.
Most fascinating is the range of emotion our Wombat leader can convey. Score a duck, he’s walking off with a Jos Buttler-esque sigh and head shake. Get dismissed for any number of runs and he’s dancing his silly little dance. I can only get my hopes up at what we see him doing for a century.
As The Hundred goes on, the temptation to ‘Wombat It’ only grows.
