An Alternative Guide to Choosing a Team in the SA20

It’s January, and that means we are back for Season 2 of the IPL’s favourite off-shoot. The SA20 returns, and for many that means cricket to loosely follow for a month or so. What this means is the need to pick a team to pin all your aspirations to. Sporting reasons are so last season, so let’s do something different.

This is the comprehensive guide to picking an SA20 team for the least cricket-based reasons.

If you like watching Jos Buttler carry everyone’s hopes and dreams: Paarl Royals

Cricket is a sport with many formats, but also one with many sub-genres. A personal favourite of mine is ‘team contributes nothing apart from Jos Buttler who does his merry best’. The Rajasthan Royals, the Paarl Royals, the England T20 side, this is a tried and tested formula.

Nothing makes you feel more alive than knowing the game will be defined by the performance of a man opening the batting. Hit an early 4, we are so back. Done by a ball drifting in to middle and leg, it is so over.

The cherry on top of this is the wonderfully expressive visage of Mr Buttler himself. One day I will write an essay just on the emotions captured by his eyes, but for now I will simply say that this is a man who feels things. If you want to see a man feeling every moment just as much as you are, pick the pretty in pink Paarl Royals.

If you like money: MI Cape Town

Legend says that if you say ‘Mumbai Indians franchise’ three times in a mirror, you will be haunted by giant dollar signs for the rest of your days. To some that is a nightmare, to investment bankers that is a lovely tax-free bonus.

Some people really like money. If you are one of those people, MI Cape Town are the team for you. Beyond the eye-wateringly rich owners, the team itself screams money. Over the last two seasons they have owned Rashid Khan, Sam Curran, Tim David, Jofra Archer, Liam Livingstone, and essentially any overseas player who has ever hit an IPL six.

Did it stop them finishing bottom of the SA20 last year? No.

Will it stop that from happening again this year? No.

But boy oh boy can they make it rain.

If you like guys just swinging: Pretoria Capitals

One of life’s little pleasures is guys just swinging, and guys just swinging hard. If a team rocks up with Phil Salt, Will Jacks, Rilee Roussow, and Paul Stirling, you know that things are about to get pretty hardcore.

To me, the Pretoria Capitals are the epitome of a franchise team where dudes are just being dudes, fist bumping each other and trying to hit every ball into the nearby nature reserves. (They also have Adil Rashid and he is perfect.)

On top of the great vibes, they did also finish top of the group stage last year. So if you’re a sneaky little glory hunter, this could be the move.

If you like fashion baby: Sunrisers Eastern Cape

I have to put my hands up. For years, I have held something of a consistent bad vibe towards the Sunrisers franchise. Maybe it was the affinity with David Warner, but maybe it was the naff sunrise pattern that every single kit had. But this year, my goodness have they delivered.

The Sunrisers kit this season trades a very run of the mill orange haze for an utterly chaotic hodgepodge of black and orange. From the depths of vibelessness, they have produced a beauty.

On a semi-serious note, they won last year. For the life of me I still cannot explain how, but they did. If you want to pretend that your favourite team in a 2-year-old franchise league has a rich ‘history’, this would be very funny.

If you like an utterly ludicrous name: Durban’s Super Giants

I like my Giants like I like my Kings, Super. Now, I lack the ability to explain to you what makes a Giant Super, but maybe this Durban-based outfit can offer you something that I personally cannot.

Now, I personally find the existence and presence of Heinrich Klaasen in this team to be slightly scary. When I see him, I just see England fielding in the furnace of Mumbai as he sends roughly every ball into the stands. So if England’s World Cup campaign is still a sore spot for you, this might not be the team for you.

Alternatively if enjoyed England’s wallowing, then maybe you owe Heinrich a little something.

If you just love the IPL: Joburg Super Kings

MS Dhoni would want you to support the Joburg Super Kings. This is a fact.

The Super Kings franchise is completely tied to one man. One man responsible for more cryptic and questionably-relayed anecdotes than anybody else in the history of cricket. Just today was Faf du Plessis talking about his learnings under Dhoni. There is an argument to be made that getting your own personal MS Dhoni story is a true mark of ‘making it’ in cricket.

Given the mystique and aura of the man I wouldn’t rule out seeing him appear like some sort of Force Ghost when the Super Kings need 36 off 6, empowering Wayne Madsen to impossibly end it in just 5.